Oh, God, I wonder if I'm alright or just lost. I don't know anxiety, and I have been riddled with it. It's the night time and the quiet time. Somehow failing this time is inevitable. I'm not a failure, although I fail. I am concerned of the things I will have to do, not the things I want to do.
Triage. Give me blood. Give me a reaction. I trust my guts.
I have wanted to do this, but I feel unprepared, even as I have been asked to do this. I fear that I have to give more than I expect to give. Worst is I'm afraid I don't have it to give. I need some strength and reassurance. I need more than loud talk and an unblinking eye. I know my weaknesses, and I'm chasing new ones.
I ask for success, I ask for lightness, I ask for a song, I ask for sight, I ask for support, I ask for clarity, I ask for the strength inside of me.