Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Laissez Faire - Dos Partes

Part I - Be the Beacon
You can read everyone else's tips and tricks and crib a list of to do's or you can do it yourself, which is what you have to do anyway. Those you rely on for insight and innovation aren't the leaders or beacons of light. I am the leader and beacon, but not yours. You have to wade through the bullshit to get to the worthwhile. Its January 3, 2012, and I am con resolutions this year. I failed last year. I've been bitten to post something, because all I have read are convictions that your goals would suit me fine if I'd like to piggy back on your three words, 12most tips, 5 simple steps to not look like a fat ass, or don't make resolutions, set goals. I don't have a link to the last one, (and is a goal all too different from a resolution?) but I saw it, and it stunk just like the others.

Then there are the other retrospective posts and articles. These are no good. I'll make a comparison rather than pointing you to a number of DULL entries of someone else's recap of 2011. Follow this link, I'll wait. Do you like those songs? I do. We have heard them dozens, hundreds, or thousands of times. We can agree they are a collection of greatest hits. Here is a question: Who compiled that list? That two cassette collection (you read that right) was a launching point for my love of music and the Rolling Stones.

I tend to chase crazy - see the two paragraphs above or the link. I would like to change this. I am a proposal writer, I am a husband, and I am a father. I am good at these things, but not good enough that I can't get better. If I were, I would be advising people with the aforementioned classifications instead of being one. I hope you can expect positive responses, rather than rants. I hope you can learn from my experiences, like what I observed on my Christmas vacation: fathers are different than mothers, and both personalities are important to raising a child.

Part II - Let Them Eat Cake
I have a healthy boy and girl in the first and second grade, and I spent the week between Christmas and New Year’s off. My wife is a personal trainer, and sometimes when I take time off she doesn't or can't. While she was at work, the three of us lived in harmony...for the most part. When she came home the dynamic changed, and not for worse even though there were tears on occasion and a meltdown attributed to the blues. I parent out of necessity. I didn’t feed either child until they asked for something to eat, then we made breakfast together. They set the table, broke eggs, and mixed up daddy-waffles.

I didn’t ask them, I directed them. I let them live in squalor and PJ’s until I was tired of the mess or needed to get out of the house. I helped with Legos, tough spots in video games, and minor disputes. I tolerated hooting, laughing and hollering. In turn, I played video games, watched movies, and read Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King while they bothered each other elsewhere or were with me. There were moments of rough housing, throwing things, chasing one another, wrestling, kidding around, and tickling; general horse-play. We did our own chores. They changed their beds, and we helped each other.

I like being a dad. My wife doesn't always agree with my methods, and I'm ok with that, because compromise is important to do and to witness. One thing I've learned as a parent is there are many approaches to developing a meaningful relationship with my wife and my kids. Take the time and listen to the advice, and try it, because what works one day, doesn't always work the next. My method of parenting is take what you want, then ask for what you need. An ample supply of new gifts from Christmas to occupy their minds assisted in this I am sure, but I need to eat something, versus I need to watch TV is certainly different.

The missing paragraph is about my wife's parenting skills. When she meets people and gets to the question about children, she tells them she has three.